Remembering Wes

One of my favorite cousins died ten years ago today. He was twenty. I think about him so often-what would he be doing today? How would he look? He was very tall and blond, and loved being outdoors with his friends and horses. Family was important to him.

He was special to me because he was born on my birthday. I remember my 9th birthday when we were eating breakfast and we had a call telling us of his birth. I changed his diapers when he was a baby (my aunt used cloth with him-and diaper pins!); I fed him and played with him. he was my first "baby". I loved him so much. We didn't talk much in his teenage years since our families lived so far apart, and we were both busy young people with lots of friends.

I had been back to work one day when I received the news of his accident. My daughter was almost three months old. I sat and held her that morning and cried because he would never meet her, and he would never hold his own baby. On my way to work that song "My Heart Will Go On" played as I sat at traffic light. I'm not sure how long I sat there and cried. I still have a hard time listening to that song since it brings back such a strong, wistful feeling.

Writing this has taken me days-it's just hard to think about. His parents established a scholorship fund in his name to celebrate his life. To remember him throughout the years we (my mother and I) often light candles in different cathedrals and churches that we have lvsited throughout Europe. Candles have been lit in England (too many to list), Wales, Brugge, Paris, Trier and Venice. There may be more, but I cannot remember them right now. I like to think that helps him know how much his family loves and misses him. I hope that he can send his parents and his baby sister some peace today.